Episode 14: See no Ninja, Hear no Ninja, Speak no...

... Ninja.

That's what it's about ladies and gents... ninja. Lots and lots of Ninja.

For all of you who don't know, Iga is the site where the best ninja of all time came into power. They were capable, powerful, stealthy and though most people think they used to dress in black, they actually traditionally wore dark navy blue. I managed to snag a ride with my buddy Tomo-san out to Iga on Thursday, and we surely didn't see any ninja. "Why not?" You ask? Geeze... as if guys... think about it. They're NINJA! You could never see ninja, otherwise they're just be a ninja poser. Think about before you ask another silly question, savy?


Now of course, as I was waiting for Tomo-san, in a brand new shirt that I had bought the day before, it turned out that Tomo was going to arrive late. That in itself didn't bother me, as I had my Ipod out, it was a nice sunny day, and I was feeling great. I spent about three minutes looking around for things that Ninja would climb, and I noticed that they're everywhere! Check out this totally climbable telephone pole! Anywho, after pretending to be a ninja for a bit, I took out my celly, flipped it open to give Tomo a message and then it hits me... BIRD CRAP! Yay! I was crapped on by a bird in my new shirt, and all over my phone. I would have been more upset were it not for the amazingly great shot the bird took, and the fact that in Japan, it is considered to be great luck to be crapped on... by a bird. A few minutes of cleaning up, and a quick photo later, Tomo picked me up and we were on route to a 'lucky' day in Iga.




On the way there, Tomo-san and I decided to get some grub. He took me to this Sushi place called "Kappa Sushi." To make a long story short... I was blown away. It was decent sushi at a ridiculously great price, and their buffet special is even cheaper. 90 yen, (or 90 Canadian cents) per plate of two pieces of sushi, all delivered on an abnormally large sized conveyor belt. Not only that, but they had fun dishes too, like these Hello Kitty golden rice cake things, as well as deserts, but that's not even the best part... they've got a Shinkansen! (Bullet Train!) That's right, you can order food as well, and if you do, then it arrives on a little plastic Shinkansen that has spots for orders built into it. Can you imagine how cool that is, 'cause I can tell you now, it's kinda difficult. It definitely reminds me of an old television show I used to watch with a little train that would go from room to room delivering food or drinks to people.


Anywho, after our fill of Sushi, desert, soup, tea, etc, for less than $10 Canadian each, we drove to Iga.


All I can say is ninjas are awesome, and so was Iga. We parked and then made our way into the park.

Check out these mini Ninja kids!!! They have costumes that you can wear for the whole day for only 300yen/person. They fit almost any size (including most Gaijin) and come in a rainbow of colours. Of course despite Tomo-san's strong feelings of apathy to the situation, I was stoked to get a costume on... Red ninja here I come!!! ... *sigh*... we got there late and due to the fact that we were checking out the Ninja house demonstration and the show, I wouldn't have had time to do the costume thing... ahh well, next time!


Speaking of the Ninja house, check out this picture on the left here. Basically, the ninja used an elaborate system of revolving doors, secret rooms, and hidden weaponry in floorboards, etc, to pull of their near magical execution of intrigue, mystery and assassination. The kunoichi (female ninja) on the left here is demonstrating how to draw a sword from beneath a floorboard, and man... she was quick. Like lickidy split. She could have cut me in half in the time I could take to cover my mouth for a cough. Honto.


We also checked out a Ninja show! It was pretty sweet, and totally full of Ninja action. They demonstrated a lot of weapons, in some comedic ways, including Bo, Sai, Thrown Kama, Shuriken, Chain & Weight Kama, Katana, Rope, and Tai-jutsu (hand to hand fighting.) They were great performers and quite funny, as most people in Japan seem to be. The demonstration with Shuriken was my favourite, as they had a guy at about 30 feet away throw one, two and even three shuriken at one time, each with quite good accuracy into a wooden plank. Borat would say... "It is nice."


(Real Ninja weapons.)








Ninja Odour. Funny? No. Deadly? Yes. For a ninja, life was study, dedication and hard rigourous work, and therefore so was their diet. I mean, what ninja in their right mind would train for twenty years straight only to have their first (and last) ninja mission ruined by the bean curd they ate yesterday night? Not I, that's for sure. Bowel control was important, because an untimely tute, fart, stinker, air busicuit, bronx cheer, trouser cough, or even the dreaded S.B.D. (cousin only to the Silent but Violent variety), could give away even the greatest hiding spot. This is covered in most ninja manuals.


After the ninja house, and ninja show, I posed outside of the ninja temple for a picture. Sadly, Ueno castle was closed for the day, due to Golden Week. I vow I will return here once to uncover further Ninja secrets. (Check out the kid in the ninja pose in the background of this pic.)




matta raishu, (until next week)

-benjamin


p.s. I found this poster in a department store. It's the poster for Snakes on Plane here in Japan. Of course, the movie title is called "Snake Flight" and the slogan is "Snake on a plane." ... Hahaha... somehow it lost something in the translation.